Recently, a British comedian asked his audience to applaud with these words: "Please give a big hand to women for organising Christmas year after year!"

Yes, dear ladies, we are Christkind. We are Christmas magic. We are Christmas. We didn't think so either. Because organising Christmas is not for the faint-hearted. It's easy to forget about yourself.

Honestly, without us there would be little Christmas magic. Because what is the Christmas atmosphere? It's the smell of the biscuits we've baked, the lights, candles and decorations we've hung up, the get-togethers we've organised, the warmth with which we fill Advent. Without wishing to treat even one man unfairly here, the main burden is usually borne by the boss.

So if you are the Christ Child's representative, don't you deserve to be treated particularly well? I was inspired to write this article by a session with a client. I love that moment when clients peel themselves out of the shell of niceness and politeness. When real feelings and their authentic voice slowly come to light. Your inner truth is your inner truth, you can make it sound nice, but it remains as it is. And then this client says: "I'm so sick of Christmas!!! My grown-up children and their families are coming for the whole weekend and are being served from start to finish. On the one hand I'm happy, I love them, but I'm just grumpy the whole time because it's so stressful and afterwards I'm completely exhausted. I'd really rather go away with my husband!"

When our inner truth has made its way into the light, there is a moment of great relaxation, because this truth has a very healing effect. Suddenly we snap into ourselves, something is in the right place, which feels very liberating, even if the truth is ugly. It doesn't mean that it has to be followed by an action, just being able to name your own need is liberating.

Then came the guilty conscience, as often happens when we dare to say something unpopular: "But I can't do that at Christmas. I mean, I can't do that to my poor grandchildren. After all, it's a family celebration, I can't do that."

But once you have felt the power of your own authenticity, you don't let go so quickly. Her tone changed again straight away: "It can't just be my job to keep the family together. Family is more than just a nice Christmas party, it can't live on my strength alone. I'm going away. I'm not doing this kind of Christmas any more."

It's really touching to see how the voices inside us struggle. I don't know whether she is actually travelling. But I'm sure that this year she'll be dividing up the tasks differently and that family cohesion will no longer be on her back.

I somehow had the feeling that I had to tell this story. I thought maybe some of you might feel the same way. You love the magic of Christmas, and what's more, you might forget that it's not okay if it's created from your sweat alone. Because as magical as all the Christmas hustle and bustle can be, a lot of it is just extra work. And then there are women's magazines with superfluous advice on how to chill out during Advent, for example with meditation. For the stressed-out Christmas organiser, meditation during Advent only means one thing - an extra item on her to-do list.

I hope that you, too, get a big slice of the warmth that you so generously spread to all sides. I wish you a mindful Advent season in which you not only organise the atmosphere, but also enjoy it. I'm an absolute Christmas freak myself. So I know what I'm talking about. A good balance between what you would like to have and what is really possible. For me personally, there are only two ways to really enjoy Christmas.

Delegate

Delegating is not only highly recommended at Christmas time. I spell the word for you/us ladies, the Advent season is a wonderful opportunity to practise this fine thing called:

D-E-L-E-G-I-E-R-E-N

Most women are world champions at taking on work. And not only should it be done, the result should be as perfect as possible. We're not as strict with anyone as we are with ourselves. I'll give you a tip: ask yourself whether you would demand as much of a girlfriend as you demand of yourself. And if you did, would she like to be with you? No? Then please don't. Be nice to yourself. Because no one will treat you better than you treat yourself. And if they do, you won't be able to take it. Treat yourself. And let others have a go too. You have to teach those around you how you want to be treated. Even if it's not always easy, it's your job.

Reduce

Christmas hasn't always looked like a cheesy American advert. Nothing stands in the way of enjoyment more than a fixed idea of what it should look like. Relax. Open a beer - a completely un-Christmassy drink, a small rebellion against kitsch - and put your feet up. After all, it's Advent, the season of warmth, love and mindfulness. None of this is created by another string of lights or another type of biscuit. Thanks be to Christkind, these are all things that we carry in our hearts.

Image source: pixabay.com/Goumbik

Let your heart speak, not gifts. Leave out everything that causes stress, rather be there. With all your presence, with all your love. Give your loved ones a smile, an open ear, your presence. And above all - give it to yourself too. Be kind to yourself. That is the most valuable thing we can give each other. Let's make Advent a time full of kindness and warm smiles. Then a single candle will be enough to set the mood.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas!