I'm a fan of Kate Winslet. Her acting is intense and captivating. After all these years in Hollywood, she has been able to resist any artificiality, which I really like. She's a great role model for women, a role model for authenticity, naturalness and female power.

That's all the more reason why her quote the other day left me scratching my head and got me thinking. An excerpt from her interview:

Kate doesn't think XS is a normal dress size. "Honestly, there isn't a single woman among my friends and acquaintances who wears an XS. Wait, that's not true, my daughter Mia wears XS. But the point is, she's 11 years old."

This devaluation does not really hit me hard as an XS woman. Because I fit the current ideal and therefore get enough applause elsewhere. But the thing is - I thought it was about learning to respect EVERY body. I thought it was about finally getting a different approach to the way we women perceive and define ourselves.

As an XS woman, I would like to say: Girls, thin women are not the enemy. The enemy is the media, photoshop and your own expectations. My body deserves the same respect as yours.

When will we finally be allowed to be more than our dress size?

And that's the point - When will we finally be allowed to just be and be left alone as we are? When will we finally be allowed to be more than our dress size? Unfortunately, what Kate is doing is exactly what she thinks she is fighting against. Understanding this is important if something is really to change.

I keep seeing women trying to feel comfortable in their size by devaluing other women. We XS women are often called hungry hooks, bony frames, lightweights and walking skeletons. And, as in this case, this often comes from the mouths of women who believe that they are advocating self-acceptance for women. You have to think about that.

I still think Kate Winslet is an important role model. I just wish there was more respect and love in her words - not to make me feel comfortable, but to find the right approach to the subject. Because that's what the whole thing is really about. And that is extremely important to understand. You have found self-acceptance when you feel comfortable with yourself, do not need the comparison with others. That is true self-acceptance. Your self-love is genuine when it doesn't involve putting others down. Self-love is not a defiant "I am beautiful, no matter what you say!". Self-love is a broad, loving "I am beautiful and you are beautiful". Those who can lovingly accept themselves can also lovingly accept everyone else. Those who struggle with themselves also struggle with others.

Love yourself as you are, not even though you are you.

A deeply felt "yes" to yourself is always also a "yes" to the way others are. If you base your self-worth on the devaluation of others, it's not real. What Kate is doing is still better than starving to fulfil. But it's not quite the goal yet and so the reward doesn't materialise. Self-love is a quiet place deep within you. One where you find a feeling that you can't get anywhere else. And that is the reward.

I wish that acceptance of one's own body was something that no longer needed to be talked about. It's quite possible that a different body type will soon be hyped, Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Lopez are already leading the way - curvy and confident. I fear that we will think this is progress, simply because we are already so fed up with the directive to starve ourselves. In reality, unfortunately, this is the age-old rubbish in green - This time another type of woman should feel "wrong".

I very much hope that women's perception of their own bodies will move away from the question "What does it look like?" to the question "What does it feel like?". I would like women to observe themselves in order to feel what their body is telling them and not to worry about how it looks.

Take a good look at yourself so as not to confuse self-love with defiance. What does your self-love look like? Is it outward or inward? Is it based on a loving dialogue with your body, are you good partners? Or do you do it like Kate and tell everyone else that you like them, while your so-called self-love is more of a defiant resignation?

We can't all be XS. We can't all be Kate Winslet. And that's a good thing. We are a colourful meadow and it's sad when a poppy keeps trying to look like a mallow. Only in our diversity are we a beautiful world. Women are beautiful in what is expressed through them. If they don't allow themselves to be authentic, they slow down their very own expression. Live the way you are and feel how you are meant to be. Because if your relationship with yourself is full of stress, how can you face life powerfully?

And to put my skeleton in the right light, here's the photo where it actually belongs. Because laughter and having fun in life still have a greater influence on our attractiveness than our weight, thank goodness!

PS: Very few XS women have this figure because they are starving. The vast majority have it because it's genetic. It may be that England has run out of XS women, I don't know. A BreXSit, so to speak. But I can assure you that XS is a completely normal dress size that I simply inherited from my slim mum. I can't stand starving myself. My sister's quote: "I saw the fridge light through the window, so I knew YOU were visiting."