How to make joie de vivre part of your everyday life
by Christina | Oct 9, 2018 | Blog |
Full throttle or what? We may be rich, but we need more of the really important things. More time out, more silence, more joy, more meaning. All the stuff that doesn't cost anything and whose value we therefore have a hard time assessing. We should definitely change that. Because without this nourishment, our soul will not be satisfied.
"What's the worst thing that could happen if you take your foot off the accelerator?" This is a very common question in my practice. The rushed client first gives a few bogus reasons. We look at each other and we both know - she is putting herself under pressure. It's as if a time bomb is ticking inside us. But our hamster wheel turns at exactly the same pace as we run. People who get a lot done are rewarded by being asked to do even more.
And caught in the trap again
But it's like always - knowing it doesn't change anything. That's why I fell into this trap again the other day. I'm a one-woman show, but there are things on my monthly schedule that would make a team of three break out in a sweat. Once again. I just never learn. I love working, juggle several projects at the same time, have two children and a marriage and like to nurture all these relationships lovingly - that takes time. What I don't have time for is time out, silence, joy. Because although I enjoy doing everything I do, it's no longer fun when I'm under pressure.
Honey, make sure I'm okay
What do you do when you feel exhausted in your everyday life and don't take good care of yourself? You start nagging your partner. Half of all partnership problems would disappear into thin air if everyone took good care of themselves. People who are in a good mood have a nicer time together. When I'm under pressure, overstressed, not feeling myself, I quickly get the feeling that my husband could make a little more effort. Along the lines of: "If I'm not going to look after myself, why don't you?" Thank goodness that doesn't work. You may have already noticed that your partner distances himself exactly when you think you need his care most. Because it's your job!
Image source: pexels.com/iiii iiii
What should I stop doing to feel better?
Joy comes naturally when you take the lid off the pressure cooker you have turned yourself into and finally let yourself steam out in freedom. Exhausted people should not ask: "What should I do to feel better?" They should rather ask themselves what they shouldn't do. With a heavy heart, I postponed two projects until later. However, my heart quickly became light again in my new everyday life, where it is vibrating again and a healthy rhythm has returned.
Yin & Yang in harmony
It's no use. No one will come along and force silence, joy and self-care on us. In order to feel comfortable in your own skin and to be physically and emotionally balanced, yin and yang, the female and male qualities, must be in equilibrium. Our world is strongly characterised by the yang, the masculine quality. Doing is masculine, being is feminine. A time full of activity and vigour must be followed by a time of rest and being. This is stupidly called off-time. To my ears, it sounds like nothing. Perhaps we would pay more attention to it if it were called refuelling time, like a car, or charging time, like a battery. We understand the battery. We pay more attention to its charging time than our own. We watch the battery symbol anxiously so that we can charge it in good time.
No joie de vivre without respect for boundaries
What is your battery symbol? How do you recognise that your battery is flashing? I usually tense up, no longer maintain sufficient eye contact and lose my joy. It's also called being grumpy. When the battery is already flashing red and urgently, I get grumpy in Austrian terms. But then it's time.
But it is not a good solution to only recover when you really can't do any more. The only solution to enjoying life more is to have more respect for our own limits. To establish a healthy rhythm in our lives. On all levels. Eating and digesting. Breathing in and breathing out. We still recognise that. But we also need a healthy rhythm of closeness and distance. I and we. Being together and being alone. Activity and relaxation. Doing and being. Turning our attention outwards and turning it inwards. Listening and going into silence. Then everything starts to move. Because our inner pendulum can swing again.
Image source: pixabay.com/stokpic
We have more time than we think
I now understand that a healthy rhythm must be the priority on my to-do list. All the other goals that I would like to achieve can only come second if life is to be fun. Everything won't happen as quickly or be as perfect, that may be. On the other hand - who says so? Don't the best ideas come to us in times of leisure? Doesn't the solution to a problem often come as a surprise during a walk?
Life is good to me, I live next to a forest. During this stressful time, I sometimes stood at the window and looked out longingly. As if I was in prison and wasn't allowed out. We don't always act very intelligently. Least of all when we think we don't have time for a break. A smoker will always find the time to go outside for a cigarette. Since Facebook and WhatsApp, we also realise that we have much more time than we used to think. But there's nothing left for a healthy rhythm? That's not true.
Healthy rhythm is contagious
We are vibration and infect each other with our vibration. The more of us vibrate in a healthy rhythm, the healthier the world becomes. I fondly remember my visits to my grandma. She always put my vibration in order. With her calmness, care and serenity. As if every day was Sunday. If we take a closer look, we discover that every day really is a Sunday. Another gift of 24 hours. We don't have to rush through it like pressure cookers. We are not racing drivers and Nobody will present us with a trophy at the end for the fastest lived life. If joie de vivre is not a part of our life, then it will not have been a particularly successful life in the end. Losing joie de vivre means losing the joy of life. Kind of logical, I know. I just wanted to make sure that we all realise that.
